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Memories from Jess
I remember many of the same things about Brandon and many more.

I was with him when he got the Beshada tattoo, he was so proud of that tattoo, he showed everyone he could.

I remember when I first brought Ty home, it was his anniversary present. At first we called him Tyler but then shortened it to Ty.

He loved Sunrise Mt. Our favorite place was the overlook on the way up to the park and of course the park. We would swing on the swings for hours just talking about our hope and dreams.

Our other favorite place to go was the boardwalk along the Hudson river in Weehawkin, NJ. This is where Brandon proposed to me. He was so nervous but it was so cute.

He loved to cook. I did not like his favorite meal, but he would cook me whatever I wanted as long as I was happy.

I remember eating Chinese food with him. I love chinese food and he is the only person that I have ever met that would eat it with me a few times a week, even though he was not thrilled with it!!

For my our first Valentines Day he brought me roses and a teddy bear, and took me out to dinner. I had told him months before that I had never had a good V-day, and he remembered so he wanted it to be so special for me.

For his 21st B-day Mom took us to Meadowlands Race Way. Brandon loved it. I think we went back 10 times after that just because he had so much fun.

I remember our trips to Wildwood, where we would walk up and down the beach looking for shells. He would try so hard to find non broken ones for me, because I started a collection on our first trip.

I remember the little birth mark on his lip.. I loved it.. oh did he hate it!

But most of all I remember the dozen mini roses that he would bring me ever couple of weeks. I do not know where he got them from, but they always lasted a couple weeks.

Brandon was my angel on earth and now he is my angel in Heaven.

I love you Brandon.. always have and always will! We will be together agian just like you promised, we will just have to wait a little long. Wait for me in Heaven....  Jess
Things Brandon Enjoyed

These are just some of the things that Brandon loved.

The Soprano’s – I had never seen the series and this past winter we rented all the DVD’s and stayed up many a night until the wee hours watching them together.

House, MD – Brandon always said he would have loved a Dr. like House, honest and to the point.

Jennifer Morrison (Cameron from House, MD) she was his screen saver on his cell phone and his computer. (I can almost hear his ‘aw mom’)

The game of LIFE – something else we did until the wee hours – marathon games of LIFE. We used to laugh because he always managed to get 2 sets of twins.

His middle name ‘Tyler’ he named his one cat Ty, after himself.

His tattoos, he was so proud of the ‘Beshada’ name he had tattooed on his back. I used to tease him that the Chinese symbol tattooed on his chest looked like Gumby. Last year Brandon got a tattoo of a Chinese symbol on the back of his neck that meant ‘to overcome’

Kielbasa and Sauerkraut – Brandon never could turn down a plate (or 2) of kielbasa and sauerkraut when visiting Uncle Albert and Sue.

Brandon was so proud that ‘Uncle’ Dan and Jen had chosen him to be Gabrielle’s God-Father. He worried about the service and ceremony for weeks.

Computers and electronics – Brandon was a natural born wiz kid at this. He built me a computer from scratch a few years ago. He loved to tinker with them.

His nitrogen fueled 4 wheeler truck – when he moved back home last fall he raced it out back so Nikki could chase it.

War movies, especially Black Hawk Down – he met the author of the book while doing his Infantry training in Georgia. Full Metal Jacket was another favorite.

His pit bull Damien – he loved that dog.

Sunrise Mountain – Brandon used to go there with Jessica to look at the view and to play and just be silly on the swings.

Manhattan – Brandon loved the city. He especially liked his last job because it allowed him to drive into Staten Island in the early morning when all was calm – he loved watching the sunrise behind the NY Skyline.

Brandon’s music tastes changed so much over the years – he was a huge Elvis fan, then he switched to Kiss and then Garth Brooks. He had his share of Rap favorites, loved the music of the 80’s and Josh Groban. He always played music while taking a shower.

Shaving his head – he started when he was about 10. He was one of the few that actually had to let it grow some when he joined the Army.

His country – Brandon was a proud American. When he received a letter from the military after 9/11 stating he may be called back to duty he said he’d proudly go in a heartbeat. Brandon felt the military gave him the direction and the discipline he needed as a young man. Brandon loved the respect he felt he got when he wore his military uniform – he said people didn’t treat him like a ‘punk kid’.

Motorcycles, ATV’s and snowmobiles – He recently talked of wanting to buy a motorcycle.

Working hard – Brandon actually like to work hard. He never knew what to so with himself when he wasn’t working. He would call his bosses on Saturday’s to see if there was something he could do. He’d wash the company trucks, he didn’t care. He loved that he and Uncle Albert started a business “Beshada Construction” He took pride in his work.

Rice Krispie treats – Brandon preferred to make his own from scratch, said they just tasted better – he’d sit and eat the whole pan in one night.

A big rare steak with baked potato and a salad.

His fish tank – Brandon loved watching the shark fish.

Cooking – Brandon loved to cook, especially if he was cooking for others – he’d be so proud making sure everyone was well fed and enjoying themselves.

Pepsi – rarely would you find Brandon without a Pepsi in his hand.

His lint brush – while most people carried a comb in their back pocket Brandon used to carry a lint brush. He always wanted to look nice when he went anywhere.

Candles – Brandon always had a candle burning

His beard – Brandon was so proud of his new beard – he took him forever to grow one without the bare patches.

I know each day new memories will surface of the things that Brandon did and that Brandon loved - I’m counting on them. These are just a few as I sit here and remember and miss my sweet baby boy.

Forever Brandon's Mom

Thanksgiving at Brandon's


Three years ago Brandon wanted to host Thanksgiving Dinner for me. He called to say he wouldn't take no for an answer (he lived in NJ and I lived in VA) that this year was his turn.  Brandon said his friend/neighbor Nate would also be helping so I didn't need to do or bring anything. Of course I said I would be there.  I had to work the day before Thanksgiving so I didn't arrive until late morning on Thanksgiving Day.  When I got there Brandon and Nate were hard at work getting everything ready. They decided on a Spiral Ham and a deep fried Turkey with all the fixin's. There was so much food. I wasn't allowed to do anything - I was so proud of Brandon - he was all grown-up and hosting his very first holiday dinner. Brandon had always been an awesome cook so I knew I was in for a treat. Brandon also invited my sister Sheryl and her husband Leo so we had a full house. Seating was limited but it didn't matter, we all found a spot and enjoyed great food prepared by Brandon and his friend Nate with so much love.  They were both so proud of themselves.  We ate until we couldn't eat anymore, all the while talking and laughing.  It was perfect and has since been my most memorable Thanksgiving.  That Thanksgiving Day meant so much to Brandon and we talked about it often. My sister spoke about that special day in her Eulogy for my son.  This Thanksgiving, the first without my Brandon, will be so very difficult. I know that my mind will focus on that special Thanksgiving Dinner prepared for me and my family by my son and his friend and I know those memories will bring a smile to my face.  This Thanksgiving I will miss my son more than anyone can imagine. I will be thankful for the Thanksgivings I was blessed to spent with Brandon, but none will be as special and memorable as the one he so lovingly prepared.

Mother of An Angel

Brandon loved Saint Christopher and proudly wore his medal daily, saying Saint Christopher protected him.  When it was taken from around Brandon's neck on the morning he passed I immediatley put it around my neck and have not, nor will I ever, take it off. It is the last thing that touched my son, the last to feel his beating heart - it now hangs next to my heart. My brother Leo gave Brandon his Saint Christopher medal, a medal blessed by the Pope in Rome and given to my brother as a gift, to hold during the memorial service. He said this way I didn't have to remove Brandon's. Saint Christopher traveled with Brandon after the service and now sits in the keepsake portion of his URN so Brandon is never without his beloved Saint Christopher.  I am so very grateful to my brother Leo for this heartfelt gift to Brandon.


Forever Your Loving Mom
But A Moment

You'll always be my child-
I think of you each day,
Even though you must remain
so very far away.

A love as strong as this,
I've never felt before;
But you had to go away-
up through heaven's door.

You'll never have to suffer,
or feel pain or hate,
just peace and love and happiness-
God has given you this fate.

I hope that you can feel
just how much I care;
And, When my days are over,
in a flash-I will be there.

Pure unbounding joy!
We'll never have to part.
You'll be right by my side-
And not just in my heart.

But, until that day,
when my dream is real-
I think I understand,
just how I should feel...

"Mom, I am fine!"
this must be what you would say-
"Please don't be so sad,
we'll meet again one day.

I'm with God above -
so don't cry for me,
Our parting is but a moment
compared to eternity."

~Author Unknown~
Message from a Sweet Angel
In The Light

A shadow of joy flickered; it is me.
I told you I wouldn't leave..
My spirit is with you.
My memories, my thoughts are imbedded deep in your heart.
I still love you.

Do not for one moment think that you have been abandoned.
I am in the Light.
In the corner, in the hall, the car, the yard --
these are the places I stay with you.

My spirit rises every time you pray for me,
but my energy comes closer to you.
Love does not diminish, it grows stronger.
I am the feather that finds you in the yard,
the dimmed light that grows brighter in your mind,
I place our memories for you to see.

We lived in our special way,
a way that now has its focus changed.
I still crave your understanding and long for
the many words of prayer and good fortune for my soul.
I am in the Light.

As you struggle to adjust without me,
I watch silently.
Sometimes I summon up all the strength of my new world
to make you notice me.
Impressed by your grief, I try to impress my love deeper
into your consciousness.

As you should, I call out to the Heavens for help.
You should know that the fountain of youth does exist.
My soul is now healthy.
Your love sends me new found energy.
I am adjusting to this new world.
I am with you and I am in the Light.

Please don't feel bad that you can't see me.
I am with you wherever you go.
I protect you, just as you protected me so many times.
Talk to me and somehow I will find a way to answer you.

Mother, father, son or daughter it makes no difference.
Brother, sister, lover, husband or wife, it makes no difference.
Whatever our connection-friend or even foe-
I see you with my new eyes.

I am learning to help wherever you are,
wherever I am needed.
This can be done because I am in the Light.
When you feel despair, reach out to me.
I will come.

Our love for you truly does transcend from Heaven to Earth.
Finish your life with the enthusiasm and zest
that you had when we were together in the physical sense.
You owe this to me, but more importantly,
you owe it to yourself.
Life continues for both of us.
I am with you because I love you and I am in the Light.

~Author  Unknown~
Forever Brandon's Mom
"We are as the wings of a butterfly, bound
together with the love of God."
Forever Brandon's Mom
Brandon, My Son

Strong, Honest, Loving and Kind
Thoughtful, Caring and Compassionate
A Son like this is hard to find.

Nothing will ever be able to mend my broken heart. I am Loving You and Missing You every second of every day.

I pray that you are at peace in Heaven above and I pray that you feel the Love I send to you each day.

Thank you Brandon for the message you sent to me last week - It warmed my heart to know that you were thinking of me. I pray for them each night and hope you will send me many more.
Forever Brandon's Mom

A child is a gift

from the Heavenly Father

That comes with many

moments of Love.

But what you think

you'll hold for a lifetime

may one day

soar to the Heaven's above.

So, I sit tonight

longing to hold you

I just can't hold back my tears

There were many beautiful moments with you

Oh, just not enough years.

I miss you every second of every day Brandon.

Some people only dream of Angels ...

I hold one in my heart.

Aunt Sheryl & Uncle Leo


Our lives go on without you
But nothing is the same,
We have to hide our heartaches
When someone speaks your name.
Sad are the hearts that love you
Silent the tears that fall,
Living our hearts without you
Is the hardest part of all.
You did so many things for us
Your heart was kind and true,
And when we needed someone
We could always count on you,
The special years will not return
When we were all together,
But with the love within our hearts
You will walk with us forever.


Thinking of you daily

with smiles on our faces~

and tears in our hearts



We will love and miss you forever!

Aunt Sheryl & Uncle Leo







Forever Brandon's Mom

The Cord




We are connected,
My child and I, 

by an invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.

It's not like the cord
That connects us 'til birth
This cord can't been seen
By any on Earth.

This cord does it's work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.

I know that it's there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my Child to Me.

The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed
It can't be denied.

It's stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.

And though you are gone,
Though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.

It pulls at my heart
I am bruised...I am sore,
This cord is my lifeline
As never before.

I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A Mother and Child
Death can't take it away!


Brandon, I will forever treasure the close and unique bond we had as Mother and Son and as Best Friends.  You forever remain My Son, My Best Friend, My Pride and Joy and My Hero - I Love You so much Sweet Angel and Miss You terribly.


Forever Brandon's Mom



My Pride, My Joy

My Baby Boy


My Sunshine, My Laughter

My Little Buddy


My Teacher, My Strength

My Fine Young Man


My Best Friend, My Protector

My Son


My Inspiration, My Life

My Angel

Message from a Sweet Angel

Whispers from Heaven


When I left this world without you
I know it made you blue.
Your tears fell so freely,
I watched; I know this is true.

While you were weeping
Days after I passed away-
While all was silent within me,
I saw you kneel to pray.

From this wonderful place called heaven
Where all my pain is gone,
I send a gentle breeze to whisper,
"My loved ones, please go on"

The peace that I have found here
Goes far beyond compare
No rain, no clouds, no suffering-
Just LOVE from everywhere.

You need not be troubled
Just stay close to GOD in prayer
Someday we'll be reunited
My love, HIS love surrounds you always,

Forever Brandon's Mom

Brandon liked Josh Groban - "To Where You Are" was played during Brandon's service and is a song I listen to each and every day. 


To listen visit the Video section. For these you will need to have Windows Media Player.   If there is a song you would like to add please let me know.


Total Memories: 89
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