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Poems to Share
Forever Brandon's Mom March 9, 2008
 
Loss of a Child

Loss of a Child (author unknown)

The moment that I knew you had died,
My heart split in two,
The one side filled with memories,
The other died with you.

I often lay awake at night,
When the world is fast asleep,
And take a walk down memory lane,
With tears upon my cheek.

Remembering you is easy,
I do it every day,
But missing you is a heartache,
That never goes away.

I hold you tightly within my heart,
And there you will remain,
Life has gone on without you,
But it never will be the same.
- I Love you and Miss you always Brandon


For those who still have their children,
Treat them with tender care,
You will never know the emptiness,
As when you turn and they are not there.

Don't tell me that you understand,
don't tell me that you know.
Don't tell me that I will survive,
How I will surely grow.

Don't tell me this is just a test,
That I am truly blessed.
That I am chosen for the task,
Apart from all the rest.

Don't come at me with answers
That can only come from me,
Don't tell me how my grief will pass,
That I will soon be free.

Don't stand in pious judgment
Of the bonds I must untie,
Don't tell me how to grieve,
Don't tell me when to cry.

Accept me in my ups and downs,
I need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry,
And say, "My friend, I care."

Forever Brandon's Mom March 6, 2008
 

WHEN I TELL YOU THAT MY HEART STILL HURTS,
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
WHEN I TELL YOU THAT MY EYES STILL CRY,
YOU LOOK THE OTHER WAY.
HOW COULD YOU KNOW THE PAIN I HAVE,
AND THE SORROW THAT I FEEL
FOR YOU HAVEN'T LOST A PRECIOUS CHILD
SO FOR YOU THIS ISN'T REAL.
I CAN'T SAY THAT I BLAME YOU
FOR I ONCE WAS JUST LIKE YOU
I WOULD TURN MY HEAD AND WALK AWAY
NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO.
BUT NOW I KNOW, OH HOW I KNOW
WHAT ANOTHER MOTHER FEELS,
FOR ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE LOST YOUR CHILD,
OUR SHARED PAIN IS NOW SO REAL.
THIS PAINFUL LOSS THAT BEREAVED MOTHERS SHARE
BRINGS US CLOSER IN OUR HEARTS
NOW WHEN WE MEET AND SHARE OUR CHILD
WE ARE FRIENDS RIGHT FROM THE START.
(Author Unknown)

 

I am so very grateful for my GP family, for without their continued love, comfort and support I don't know where I'd be.

Sandy - Mother of an Angel January 17, 2008
 
Don't You Know
Don't You Know

Don't you know I'm better now
I have a full-time job

Don't you know I'm better now
I have things to occupy my mind

Don't you know I'm better now
It's been a whole 9 months

Don't you know I'm better now
my son wouldn't want for me to cry

Don't you know I'm better now
I have no time to Grieve

Don't you know I'm better now
it's what they all believe

Sandy Beshada - January 16, 2008 - 10:15pm

Sandy - Mother of an Angel
Forever Brandon's Mom
Poem by Lyndie Sorenson January 13, 2008
 
Life As I Live It

Brandon - Lyndie, Joey's Mom put into words exactly how I feel - I Miss You Brandon and I Love you Baby - Mom

 

Life As I Live It

 

Sleep does not come easily
With thoughts of missing you
My days are spent denying
What it is I've lived on through

Grief continues on each day
Within my broken heart
Questions race within my mind
of why we are apart

There is no getting over it
No magic pill to take
Living with this nightmare
I so wish were a mistake

I won't be getting better
as so many have proclaimed
I pretend my life is different...
as if I'm playing some strange game

I want to scream from rooftops
That I hurt within my soul
Losing my sweet child
left me playing some new role

I can't pretend forever
hide these tears that wish to flow
This deep internal sadness
Has continued to just grow

I've begged I've prayed, I've pleaded
That this pain would somehow cease
That I could find some hope in life
A little bit of peace

But since the day I lost you
I just drift through all my days
With deep sorrow,...deep emotion
That will greet my everyday

In loving memory of Joey and his heavenly buddies
Lyndie
© copyright 2008

Poem from Heaven December 21, 2007
 
In The Light
In The Light
Author Unknown

A shadow of joy flickered; it is me.
I told you I wouldn't leave..
My spirit is with you.
My memories, my thoughts are imbedded deep in your heart.
I still love you.
Do not for one moment think that you have been abandoned.
I am in the Light.
In the corner, in the hall, the car, the yard --
these are the places I stay with you.
My spirit rises every time you pray for me,
but my energy comes closer to you.
Love does not diminish, it grows stronger.
I am the feather that finds you in the yard,
the dimmed light that grows brighter in your mind,
I place our memories for you to see.
We lived in our special way,
a way that now has its focus changed.
I still crave your understanding and
long for the many words of prayer and good fortune for my soul.
I am in the Light.

As you struggle to adjust without me,
I watch silently.
Sometimes I summon up all the strength of my new world to make you notice me.
Impressed by your grief, I try to impress my love deeper into your
consciousness.
As you should, I call out to the Heavens for help.
You should know that the fountain of youth does exist.
My soul is now healthy.
Your love sends me new found energy.
I am adjusting to this new world.
I am with you and I am in the Light.

Please don't feel bad that you can't see me.
I am with you wherever you go.
I protect you, just as you protected me so many times.
Talk to me and somehow I will find a way to answer you.
Mother, father, son or daughter it makes no difference.
Brother, sister, lover, husband or wife, it makes no difference.
Whatever our connection-friend or even foe-I see you with my new eyes.
I am learning to help wherever you are, wherever I am needed.
This can be done because I am in the Light.

When you feel despair, reach out to me.
I will come.
Our love for you truly does transcend from Heaven to Earth.
Finish your life with the enthusiasm and zest
that you had when we were together in the physical sense.
You owe this to me, but more importantly, you owe it to yourself.
Life continues for both of us.
I am with you because I love you and I am in the Light.
Poem by Donna Mae Scuncio December 21, 2007
 
My Christmas Tree

All I have under my Christmas tree
are my wonderful memories of you.
But oh what special gifts they are
when the days are feeling blue.

The Christmas tree is finally up
decorations have been placed
but it just doesn't quite look right
just a little out of place.

A little sparse on gifts this year
the lights just aren't as bright.
And the little angle topper.
she just will not sit right.

There are play dough ornaments
you made when you were three.
A lumpy form of a snowman
sits proudly on the tree.

And look a paper snowflake
I think it was grade two.
A little torn and tattered
a precious gift from you

I have some wire candy canes
you made when you were eight.
Now they're bent and out of shape
but still they're looking great.

Here's a little cut out wreath
with a picture of you in round.
A bright and happy smiling face
only now there is no sound.

Grade six brought me a Christmas tree
gently crafted from some clay.
With little painted ornaments
but it still hangs here today.

They sit amongst the shiny tinsel
on the branches of the tree.
so when Christmas morning comes
you'll still be here with me.

Donna Mae Scuncio
December, 2004

Donna Mae, Rick's mom
8/31/83--8/10/ 01

Poem by Donna Mae Scuncio December 21, 2007
 
This Year for Christmas
This Year for Christmas I Want...

This year I want no tinsel,
no Christmas tree with lights.
I want no cups of eggnog
no singing Silent Night.

No hassled holiday shopping
no presents with pretty bows.
I want no Christmas carols
or Santa's Ho Ho Ho's.

No snowy horse drawn sleigh rides
or busy city streets.
No wishful window shopping
or chocolate candy treats

I don't want Christmas cookies,
no candy canes or cake.
Not even being good
just for goodness sake.

No brightly colored paper
no bargains,deals or sales.
I don't want roasted chestnuts
or that Grinch that steals.

I want no Christmas plays
with stories that they tell.
No TV commercials
and all the junk they sell.

I don't want reindeer prancing
or a jingling Christmas bell.
I need no Christmas cards
that wishes all is well.

This year I wish for peace
for those that I hold dear,
in the spirit of the season
and throughout the year.

The warmth of friends and family,
fond memories for all to share.
Spending time together
That's what I want this year.

This year I wish for you,
that with me you could be.
My dear sweet child of mine
that's what I want for me.

Donna Mae Scuncio
December,2003

Donna Mae, Rick's mom
8/31/83--8/10/ 01
Poem by Lyndie Sorenson December 21, 2007
 
Christmas is coming
Christmas is coming...
Shall never be the same
For living on without you
Has brought me so much pain

I will not be getting better
Or someday be just fine
Those that say that to me
Are simply out of line

Christmas is coming...
No one has a clue
How difficult my life is
Living without you

My smiles are just put on
I hide it deep within
Dare not show it to the world
For that is like a sin

Christmas is coming...
My tears again will fall
Memories are bittersweet
Just living on recall

You won't be home for Christmas
It's just another day...
Of living on without you
Since you have gone away

Christmas is coming
No wishes will come true
For all I ever wanted
Was living here with you....

In loving memory of Joey and his heavenly buddies
Lyndie
© December 2007
A Mother's Christmas Dream December 21, 2007
 
Please Come Home For Christmas

I'll be home for Christmas - revised by Sandy, Forever Brandon's Mom

 

"Please Come Home For Christmas ... If only in my dreams"

Tonight will find me dreaming
Of you, Sweet Angel of mine
And although I know
It's a long road back

From a place that's so divine
Can you Please promise me, that
You'll be home for Christmas.

 

Please, can I count on it.
I'll pray for snow and make hot cocoa
And put presents under the tree.
Christmas Eve will find me
Waiting here for you
Please come home for Christmas

To your Mom who is so blue

 

May Christmas Eve guide you

To Where the love light gleams

Please come home for Christmas
IF ONLY IN MY DREAMS.

Forever Missing You - Mom December 21, 2007
 
A Mother's Christmas Wish

All I Want For Christmas is You

Take back the holly and mistletoe
silver bells on strings.
If I wrote a letter to Santa Claus,
I would ask for just one thing.

I don't need sleigh rides in the snow.
Don't want a Christmas that's blue.
Take back the tinsel, stockings and bows,
cause all I want for Christmas is you.

I don't need expensive things.
They don't matter to me.
All that I want, it can't be found
underneath the Christmas Tree.

You are the Angel atop my tree.
You are my dream come true
.
Santa can't bring me what I need,
cause all I want for Christmas is you.
I don't need expensive things.
They don't matter to me.
All that I want, it can't be found
underneath the Christmas Tree.

You are the Angel atop my tree.
You are my dream come true
.
Santa can't bring me what I need,
cause all I want for Christmas is you,

cause all I want for Christmas is you!!!
cause all I want for Christmas is you!!!
cause all I want for Christmas is you!!!

Poem by Christine Ross December 21, 2007
 
ANOTHER LONELY DECEMBER

ANOTHER LONELY DECEMBER

..by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

Another lonely December,
Waiting for Christmas to pass,
Staring out through the window,
At the cold beyond the glass.

Dreaming of the years gone by,
And things I love to remember,
Knowing this life will always bring,
Another lonely December.

© 2004 - Christine Ross
submitted with permission by Sandy, Forever Brandon's Mom

Poem by Lyndie Sorenson December 21, 2007
 
The Holiday’s

The Holiday’s

 

With the holidays upon us
Stores filled and set to sell
Families sharing stories
A faint twinkling bell

Lights off in the distance
Sparkling oh so bright
Ornaments are placed just so
That glisten through the night

Snowflakes float around me
Which remind me of the years
Back to holidays so special
Now they often just bring tears

I remember when you opened
Presents beautifully wrapped
The great big smile on your face
As you found your
baseball cap

Surrounded by the gifts
That reflected our deep love
For my child that I long for
Who now lives in heaven above

No longer is there magic
Holidays will never be the same
Now I light a single candle
Honor you within it's flame

I wonder how this happened
Wish this were some big mistake
That each day, not only holidays
Bring such sadness and heartache

I will cherish all the days
When you were here, right by my side
Bittersweet the memories
That hurt so deep inside

Everyone enjoys the hustle
All the happiness and fun
But for me it won't be joyous
For I lost my precious son

In loving memory of Joey and his heavenly buddies
Lyndie Sorenson
© revised November 2007


submitted with Love and permission by Sandy, Forever Brandon's Mom

Forever Loving you - Mom December 21, 2007
 
On the day God took you

On the day God took you 
I thought that I would die
I wondered where the time went.
I asked a lot of why??
with people all around me
I felt alone inside
from all their words of comfort,
I couldn't seem to hide,
I thought I might be dreaming
that I'd wake and find you here,
I thought "this can't be happening".
as I wiped another tear.
On the day that you were laid to rest
my heart broke yet again.
I wondered if the pain will end,
but mostly, I wondered when??
I's hard to be without you,
at times the day seems long,
sometimes I just sit crying
when there is nothing wrong.
I wish I had more time
before your life was done,
I hope your resting peacefully Brandon,
My precious one.

Forever Loving you - Mom December 21, 2007
 
Loved, Remembered, Treasured

Loved, Remembered, Treasured

 

Those we love we never lose,
For always you will be
Loved, Remembered, Treasured
Forever in my memory.

May the winds of love blow softly
and whisper so you'll hear,
I will always LOVE and MISS YOU
and wish that you were here.

 

The memory of your face, your smile, your laughter

is engraved in my heart.

Forever Missing You - Mom December 21, 2007
 
In Denial

In Denial

 

Let me be in denial for awhile
Let me dream of yesterday
When you were here every day
When the world was okay

 

Let me push this grief away
It is too painful, and it hurts
My world is in disarray
But grief is here to stay

 

Let me think of you, my family
Mother and son
Once there was two
Now there is one

Grieving Mom of Josh December 21, 2007
 
What a Grieving Mother Really Thinks

What a Grieving Mother Really Thinks

Hello old friend,

Oh yes you know

I lost my child a while ago.

No, no please

Don’t look away

And change the subject

It’s ok.

You see at first I couldn’t feel,

It took so long, but now it’s real.

I hurt so much inside you see

I need to talk,

Come sit with me?

You see, I was numb for so very long,

And people said, “My, she is so strong.”

They did not know I couldn’t feel,

My broken heart made all unreal.

But then one day, as I awoke

I clutched my chest, began to choke,

Such a scream, such a wail,

Broke from me..

My child! My child!

The horror of reality.

But everyone has moved on, you see,

everyone except for me.

Now, when I need friends most of all,

Between us there now stands a wall.

My pain is more than they can bear,

When I mention my child,

I see their blank stare.

“But I thought you were over it,”

Their eyes seem to say--

No, no, I can’t listen to this, not today.

So I smile and pretend, and say, “Oh, I’m ok”.

But inside I am crying, as I turn away.

And so my old friend, I shall paint on a smile,

As I have from the start,

You never knowing all the while,

All I’ve just said to you in my heart.

written by: Kelly Cummings (Grieving Mom of Josh)   9/8/02

Forever Brandon's Mom December 21, 2007
 
There's an elephant in the room

There's an elephant in the room.
It is large and squatting,
so it is hard to get around it.
Yet we squeeze by with "How are you?"
and "I'm fine" ...
And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter.
We talk about the weather.
We talk about work.
We talk about everything else -
except the elephant in the room.

There's an elephant in the room.
We all know it is there.
We are thinking about the elephant as we talk together.
It is constantly on our minds.
For, you see, it is a very big elephant.
It has hurt us all.
But we do not talk about the elephant in the room.
Oh, please say his name.
Oh, please say "BRANDON" again.

Oh, please, let's talk about the elephant in the room.
For if we talk about his death,
Perhaps we can talk about his life.
Can I say "BRANDON" to you and not have you look away?
For if I cannot, then you are leaving me
Alone ...
In a room ...
With an elephant.

 

By Terry Kettering - revised by Sandy

Poem by Christine Ross December 21, 2007
 
TODAY I CRIED

TODAY I CRIED

...by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

Today, I cried
Because you died.

Today, I smiled
For just awhile.

Today, I laughed
And then I gasped.

Today, I cried
Because I laughed.

© 2003 - Christine Ross
submitted with permission by Sandy, Forever Brandon's Mom

Poem by Christine Ross December 21, 2007
 
SO I GUESS I SHOULD BE THANKFUL

SO I GUESS I SHOULD BE THANKFUL
a Thanksgiving Poem
......by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

My future has been stolen
And I'm not afraid to die,
So I guess I should be thankful...
That my life is passing by.

I never have to worry
That he's staying out too late,
So I guess I should be thankful...
I don't ponder on his fate.

No little children in my life,
No baby clothes to knit,
So I guess I should be thankful...
I don't have to baby sit.

I get to stay up late at night,
Because I just can't sleep,
So I guess I should be thankful...
For the gift of time to weep.

I'm very skilled with flowers.
And with candles I'm real good,
So I guess I should be thankful...
That I've mastered what I could.

Less meals to cook, less clothes to wash,
These blessings I've received,
So I guess I should be thankful...
For the extra time to grieve.

I'm well stocked up on Kleenex
And bereavement magazines.
So I guess I should be thankful...
For all these finer things.

There's lots of faded photographs,
And withered keepsakes too,
So I guess I should be thankful...
For these treasures left to view.

There's family celebrations with
An empty lonesome wish,
So I guess I should be thankful...
For... the things I get to miss.

© 2006 - Christine Ross
submitted with permission by Sandy, Forever Brandon's Mom

Lyndie Sorenson December 21, 2007
 
I Have Asked These Questions

I Have Asked These Questions

 

I stand and stare at the beautiful sky
And again ask the dreaded question why?
Why is it that you are not by my side?
Why do I live on although my heart died?

Searching for answer as if I might find
The truth and solution of all of man kind
Why I was left...why my child did go?
I wish for some answers I just need to know

Why must I live on to cry all these tears?
With a life full of sorrow and millions of fears?
I long for the answers...or even a clue
As to why I was left here to live without you?

Why does life hurt those that truly are good?
Why are we left to be misunderstood?
A life that's so painful to wake to each day
Why is there nothing to take this away?

Why must I live life as if I'm denying?
When I know in my heart that I am just lying
A past present future to wear this tight mask
That in life has become such a terrible task

Why does my heartache although I do smile?
Why does each step feel like I've walked a mile?
Such anger and sorrow that I can't ignore
Why can't you just walk in through the front door?

Why can't I stop asking all of these questions?
Or listening to those that have clueless suggestions?
Why is it life has no answers at all?
Or none that I truly can ever recall

In loving memory of Joey and his heavenly buddies
Lyndie Sorenson
©copyright 2006 revised 2007
submitted with permission by Sandy, Forever Brandon's Mom

Forever Brandon's Mom December 21, 2007
 
SOMETIMES WE NEED TO FALL APART

SOMETIMES WE NEED TO FALL APART

We don't always have to be strong
to be strong. Sometimes our strength
is expressed in being vulnerable.
Sometimes we need to fall apart to
regroup and stay on track.
We all have days when we cannot push
any harder, cannot hold back self-doubt,
cannot stop focusing on fear,
cannot be strong.
There are days when we cannot focus
on being responsible. Occasionally, we
don't want to get out of our pajamas.
Sometimes we cry in front of people.
We expose our tiredness, irritability,
or anger. Those days are okay.
They are just okay.
Part of taking care of ourselves means
we give ourselves permission to "fall apart"
when we need to. We do not need to
be perpetual towers of strength.
We ARE strong. We have proven that.
Our strength will continue if we allow
ourselves the courage to feel scared,
weak, and vulnerable when we need
to experience those feelings.
Today, help me to know that is it okay
to allow myself to be human. Help me
not to feel guilty or punish myself
when I need to "fall apart."


Author Unknown

Terrie Whiteman December 20, 2007
 
Memories I Had
Memories I Had

I made your favorite cookies,
A tear fell as I stirred,
The things I've done a million times,
But did not hear a single word.
Oh Mom, can I help make them?
Can I have a few more chips?
Oh why just can't I just hear them once?
Coming from your dear sweet lips.
Those were the days I loved so much,
With you right by my side
Doing little things with me,
And now they all subside.
No more Mommy, can I help you?
No more Xmas Eves,
No more Xmas mornings,
Only time to grieve.
Memories are there for me,
To warm my weary head,
I stare outside at fallen snow,
As I lay there in my bed.

In Memory of Joey on Christmas, 2007
Terrie Whiteman
Forever Loving you - Mom December 20, 2007
 
But A Moment
But A Moment

You'll always be my child-
I think of you each day,
Even though you must remain
so very far away.
A love as strong as this,
I've never felt before;
But you had to go away-
up through heaven's door.
You'll never have to suffer,
or feel pain or hate,
just peace and love and happiness-
God has given you this fate.
I hope that you can feel
just how much I care;
And, When my days are over,
in a flash-I will be there.
Pure unbounding joy!
We'll never have to part.
You'll be right by my side-
And not just in my heart.
But, until that day,
when my dream is real-
I think I understand,
just how I should feel...
"Mom, I am fine!"
this must be what you would say-
"Please don't be so sad,
we'll meet again one day.
I'm with God above -
so don't cry for me,
Our parting is but a moment
compared to eternity."

~Author Unknown~
Forever Loving you - Mom December 20, 2007
 
I Still Feel Your Love
I Still Feel Your Love

I know you’re gone from this earth
You left me way too soon
But I feel your love every time
I gaze up at the moon.
Sometimes I think I hear
A whisper in the wind
It sounds as if you’ve called my name
As your love to me you send.
Sometimes I do a silly thing
And your laughter fills my ears
I know you’re right here with me
But I can’t see you through my tears.
I felt your hand upon my shoulder
And I quickly turned to see
Visible... you were not
But I know you’re here with me.
In the night you sometime come
To visit in my dreams
My hands go out to touch you
But you’re just out of reach it seems.
For just a flash you appear
Standing close to me
Is it just my imagination
Or is it really you I see.
Even though you’re gone from me
And you watch me from above
I long for you everyday…
And I still feel your love.
Forever Loving you - Mom December 20, 2007
 
The day God took you
On the day God took you
I thought that I would die
I wondered where the time went?
I asked a lot of why??
with people all around me
I felt alone inside
from all their words of comfort,
I couldn't seem to hide,
I thought I might be dreaming
that I'd wake and find you here,
I thought "this can't be happening".
as I wiped another tear.
On the day that you were laid to rest
my heart broke yet again.
I wondered if the pain will end,
but mostly, I wondered when??
I's hard to be without you,
at times the day seems long,
sometimes I just sit crying
when there is nothing wrong.
I wish I had more time
before your life was done,
I hope your resting peacefully Brandon, My precious one

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