Brandon Tyler Beshada

Scarecrow for Brandon

View from the deck

View of Brandon's Memory Garden from the deck

Patriotic Christmas Tree for Brandon in his memory garden

Every year in my hometown of Newton NJ the PBA puts on a small fry fishing contest. It is named in memory of Sgt. Clarence “Ish” Friedland of the Newton Police Department who started the contest in 1959. I went with my family every year as a child, took Brandon every year and my brothers and nieces and nephews and their kids go now. Its a fun family and friend day of fishing, great food and prizes for the kids. My brother Leo is a retired Police Sgt with the Newton Police Dept and has remained very involved. On Saturday he told me that he got approval from the PBA to personally buy the grand prize bike every year in Brandon's memory - So, every year from now on, this past Saturday included, the Grand Prize bike awarded for the biggest fish will now be known as "The Brandon Beshada Memorial Grand Prize" and will have a banner sign hanging from the bike all day. I cried tears of joy at this amazing tribute to my son. Brandon loved fishing and loved going to this contest and I know he has the biggest smile on his face and doing the 'Pee Wee' dance just for you Uncle Leo. Thank you so much 'Uncle Leo' and Terry Beshada for honoring Brandon in such an amazing way. 

Happy Heavenly New Year Brandon - I Love and Miss you

Tree just for you Brandon XO

So pretty

A wreath was also placed at the headstone of a soldier in your memory at Arlington National Cemetery

Christmas 2013

Merry Christmas Brandon - I Love you

Brandon's cat Ty went to be with Brandon in Heaven on September 20, 2013.  Gonna Miss you TyTy but I know no one can take care of you better than your daddy. Love you both

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDON!
I remember everytime I was upset or mad I would call you or just stop by your place and you would help me work it out,you always had good sound advice.I miss all the times when we got done with work we would play basketball at my place,while Aunt Sue would make your favorite food.I drive by the house we rebuilt every day and I can still see you sticking out of the roof waving at me when I pulled up.You are not just my nephew but you are also my best friend.I know today on your 30th birthday that we would be out celebrating and having the best time of our life like we used too.I miss you! I say good morning to you and your Mema every morning on my way to work.
More to come...........

For you Brandon, my Son, my life, my everything ~ I Love you and Miss you ~ today, tomorrow, forever and a day

It has always been 'both of us' Brandon, having fun and being silly together, forming a bond of love between Mother and Son that can NEVER be broken. My goofy, loving son, who could always make me laugh till I cried, I Love you and Miss you ... today, every day.

FOR BOTH OF US

As long as I can
I will look at this world
for both of us.

As long as I can
I will laugh with the birds,
I will sing with the flowers,
I will pray to the stars,
for both of us.

As long as I can
I will remember
how many things
on this earth
were your joy.

And I will (try to) live
as well as you
would want me to live
as long as I can.

~written by Sascha ~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDON ~ 3/21/2010

Love You and Miss you beyond words

                 I Love You Brandon and Miss you so much, today, tomorrow, forever and a day. 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET ANGEL

Dear Brandon:

 

On this day, 28 years ago, my life forever changed ~ the sun shone brighter, the air smelled sweeter, and the birds sang louder. On this day, 28 years ago, I received a blessing from above ~ I became a Mom, your Mom.

 

I woke that morning when my water broke thinking today’s the day; today I will meet my baby. I was 19, single and scared, but also very excited.  At 6:08 pm after just an hour and a half of natural labor you arrived, a beautiful, perfect baby boy. You weighed 8 lbs and were 21 inches long. I named you Brandon Tyler Beshada. I fell in love with you before I knew you as you lay beneath my heart for 9 months, or so I thought.  The profound love I felt for you when I held you for the first time, when I looked into your eyes was a love beyond comprehension. I did not think I could ever love you more than I did at that moment … I was so wrong.

 

You were such a good baby, a happy baby. Even through the many hospital stays the first 5 years of your life for asthma you remained happy and your smile and bright blue eyes could light up the sky. We grew close over the years ~ Brandon and Mom ~ we were a team, just you and I ~ Truly Best Friends ~We loved having fun and being goofy together and many would say we acted more like brother and sister than Mother and Son. I thought that was pretty cool as I treasured our close bond. As you know son, you were not perfect, but no one is, you made mistakes, but you acknowledged them and learned from them and grew to be an amazing, loving, respectful and hard working young man with great plans for your future.  A Mom could not be prouder.

 

On April 1, 2007 my life would once again forever change. The sun would stop shining; the birds stopped singing and the sky began to cry. You see through all the excitement the day of your birth and the years that followed there was one life changing thing I failed to recognize ~ that you, my beautiful child, my blessing, were never really mine, you were a child lent to me by God but for 25 short years. I had not heard him say …

 

"I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine,"  He said.
For you to love - while he lives
And mourn for when he's dead.

It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three,
But will you, till I call him back,
Take care or him for Me?

He'll bring his smiles to gladden you,
And should this stay be brief
You'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.

I've looked this world over
In search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd
Life's lanes, I have selected you.

Now will you give him all your love,
Nor count the labor vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to call to
Take him back again?"

I fancied that I heard then say,
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done,
For all the joy Thy child shall bring,

The risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness,
We'll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known
Forever grateful stay.

But should the angels call for him
Much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that come
And try to understand."

 

I took for granted that you would always be with me, that I’d get to see you grow old and realize your dreams of a career, marriage, owning a home, having babies- my grand-babies, and seeing the world in between. 

I know that you know how very much I love you, for I know in my heart you too understand our special bond is one that will never be broken, but I wonder, do you feel I gave you enough, enough of all you deserved, enough cherished memories to take with you … I feel, in that I failed you.  For all you have given me, all you have taught me about love and life that what I gave to you in life did not compare. My sweet son, you gave me far more than I ever gave you ~ for that I will forever be sorry.

 

I Love you and Miss you Brandon, beyond words and long for the day we can be together again.

 

iii HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDON, MY SWEET ANGEL IN HEAVEN iii

 

Love, Mom

Always on my mind and Forever in my Heart - I Love you, Mom

I wasn't lucky enough to know Brandon but I do have a memory of him. I was working produce in the Newton Acme I'd have to guess it was the late 80's or early 90's you and your son were in there shopping we briefly talked and you continued shopping and I went back to my produce work. Back then the fruit didn't come with a sticker on it like it does today so I had to use a marking gun to put a sticker on it with the code number so the checker would ring it up right. I had also brought out a case of cabbage to put out on the same truck with the fruit so I needed a trimming knife . I made the dumb mistake of putting the knife and the gun both in my back pocket which is usually where I carried them but not at the same time. I reached for the gun to mark the apples I was putting out and grabbed the blade of the knife and sliced my fingers. I headed for the backroom with my hand bleeding and I think it was Debbie who was at the desk that use to face the produce saw me bleeding and followed. She ended up going back out to the produce section and was telling somebody that I was bleeding and explained that I was reaching for a gun and grabbed a knife, I guess Brandon was nearby and over heard it and being a little kid with an imagination must have been thinking some cops and robbers scenario. I cleaned up my cuts and bandaged them and went back out to work and you and Brandon were out there and you were like see he's alright and you told me about the reaching for the gun and knife part and we got a good laugh. I remember showing Brandon the gun and the knife, should have just let him keep the story he had in his head it was probably much more exciting.